"The Many Faces of Me" or How We
Create Personalities in this Frantic World
I've thought about a topic for this blog
post quite a bit over the past week and more often than not I lost the thread
of my ideas because of continual interruptions.
"Derr, you're not alone," you
might say, and you wouldn't be wrong. Everyone experiences the diversions,
expected and unexpected, that has become normal in modern life.
As a writer I study personality -- you have
to if you're going to present believable characters to your readers. But this past
week forced me to psychoanalyse myself a little. And while I was at it, I
wondered whether everyone is beginning to feel the stress of trying to be all
things to all people. When did life get so
complicated? When did so many people start demanding so much of my time? And
when did I develop all these personas that seem to now compose ME in order to cater
to all these demands?
Unlike my characters, I can't always be
consistent. I find that with my writer buddies I can let my creative, bizzare
personality break its leash. I can crack 'funnies' and not feel stupid if they
don't hit the mark -- afterall, writers test out lines or scenarios all the
time, and often the more bizzare or ludicrous the better they might work.
The obvious and logical is deemed 'ho-hum'.
We brainstorm as a matter of course. We can be frivolous and explore the
fantastic, the inane or the erotic and nobody in the group will judge ideas
beyond whether or not they might work in the context of our piece of work. This
ME loses time on a regular basis, is spontaneous and light-hearted.
At the same time, I set aside the
'personal' ME.
That ME is divorced from the work;
divorced, for the most part, from the randomness of creative ideas.
When with my immediate family I have to
have a more sensible persona. In that compartment of life I not only have
responsibility as joint head of household, I must provide a living example to
my children. I must 'react' to conditions immediately and am duty-bound to
problem-solve with directness and logic. The inane can be fatal!
Thus the creative, frivolous ME has to be
held in check. She isn't quashed, but she's only let out in small, gentle
bursts. Nurturing is necessarily a higher priority than personal desire or
creative thinking. This ME must always observe a schedule, be it meals, chores
or other commitments -- this me cannot afford to 'lose time' and must remain in
the present reality.
"Of course, that's normal," you
say. And in truth it can't be any other way. But that 'family ME' has other
distractions that I can't help indulging. For instance, that ME spends way too
much time online blogging or tweeting discussing politics. My writer friends
might say I use this diversion as a way to procrastinate from my writing, but I
actually need such diversions to keep myself sane. I need to keep in contact
with an outer world and feel like I am participating. Writing is a very
isolating profession.
With my extended family and closer friends,
I become a slightly watered-down version of the family ME. Those gentle bursts
of creative thinking are mere undercurrents that rarely surface. After all, I
have an image to protect and a clearly-defined position within the family
structure. Duties demand certain behaviours which we all recognise.
The business ME, the woman who works or
deals with the professional side of my life is always censored. Parts of my
brain and personality are necessarily disengaged or somnolent. This is the flattest
of my personalities as behaving outside expectation leads to harsh judgments
from others. We all, for instance, know of a colourful person who we both
applaud (for their honesty) and cringe about (because they can embarrass). This
ME sits right, dresses right, converses a certain way and generally stifles
creativity.
This ME is also most alert, most conscious
of the people and things around her. In writing this would be my most
unbelievable personality.
The inner ME (the private dreamer, lover,
the spiritual personality) in contrast, is the least defined and least seen of
my personalities. We all know why, of course. This one is the most vulnerable.
The most frightened. The most uncertain.
And yet this is the one we romance writers
spend the most time writing about. We delve into the inner personality of our
characters because she is the one we most identify with. As human beings we
want to know that we aren't alone in our vulnerability. That we aren't alone in
our secret desires and needs.
And we also want to believe that
ultimately, that inner ME will win out. It won't be abandoned. Won't be hurt or
destroyed. And though we believe she is the most flawed, she will find true
love.
Yet as writers, we try very hard not to
expose our own inner ME when creating one for our characters. I doesn't always
work, of course. If we read a body of work by a particular author certain
themes will become apparent. But we do try to avoid such personal exposure,
perhaps to maintain the illusion that we are protecting our true self.
In between all these MEs I expect there are
a multitude of other personalities lurking. Personalities I manufacture in
answer to the circumstances life presents me. Personalities designed to meet
every demand of our complicated and multi-faceted lives.
How many personalities do you have?
Jennifer Brassel, Feb 19, 2012.
Jenny Brassel has been writing forever. She
writes fiction in the romance, young adult and historical genres. Her work has
finaled and won a number of prestigious US competitions, including: Passionate
Ink's 'Stroke of Midnight'; FTHRW 'Wallflower' Best Scene; MRWA 'Reveal Your
Inner Vixen' & Missouri RWA's 'Golden Gateway'.
Titles currently available:
TRUST IN DREAMS (romance, eBook)
Elizabeth
Reynold is a dedicated doctor whose life is all mapped out. She knows what the
future holds: hard work, a rewarding career and a sensible match. Loveless and
unexciting this may be, but it is safe safe from love and the pain it causes.
Only in her sleep does she dare to dream of something more.
Chris
Grant is the most popular star on Australian television. His ideal woman is out
there somewhere, a woman who can see past the fame and fortune to love him for
himself. He is certain he's found the woman of his dreams and will do anything
to win her over.
But
Elizabeth knows actors cannot be trusted, are never who they seem. Will she
learn to trust in herself and follow her dreams?
Available through Amazon and Smashwords
HONOUR BOUND (romance, eBook)
Gwen
Morgan's orderly life is shattered when her flatmate is brutally attacked.
Until the man responsible is caught, she'll never feel safe with any man who
fits the attacker's sketchy description.
Martial
Arts expert, Lance DeLaker, is instantly attracted to the young woman who comes
to him seeking help for her friend. But how can he get past her fears and prove
he can be gentle as well as strong?
When
Lance learns his best friend has already staked a claim, can he do the
honourable thing and stay away from the only woman he has ever wanted? Can they
break free and discover true love knows no bounds?
Available through Amazon
and Smashwords
COINS OF POWER (YA eBook, Print)
On
her 15th birthday, Paige Vaughan is sent the third in a series of weird gifts
from her crazy Welsh aunt. Strange things begin to happen when Paige meets with
Cameron Sloan, a new kid in school, who has received similar gifts and a
quarterstaff from his grandfather in Scotland.
The
pair are attacked by the monster, Balor, who is seeking to steal their coins
and gain power. Though they repel Balor this time, Paige and Cameron know he
will not rest till he has stolen each magical talisman that they possess. With
the help of two friends they attempt to harness the magic of the objects
entrusted to them.
When
Cameron's coin is stolen and they discover they are being stalked by Balor's
henchmen, a band of stinking sea-monsters, they realize it is a race against
time to save the last coin and prevent the talismans' power falling into
Balor's destructive hands.
Available from Parker
Publishing and Amazon
(print version)
8 comments:
At last count I have at least 5! Me the mum, me the wife, me the professional in my day job, me the erotic writer, and me the non-erotic suspense/fantasy writer :-)
But they're all me *vbg*
C'mon Mags, I bet you could find a few more if you looked hard enough! ;)
Jen
I hate to think about the number of personalities I have, particularly the ones that I know about and no one else does!
I have three Facebook pages...one for the each of my more obvious identities. I was going to say one for the real me and one for my writing aliases, but I am not entirely certain who the "real" me is anymore. I do know that all of the me's went to a Jennifer Brassel writing day a few years ago...and everything I have done since is based on that amazing learning experience. I still refer to the notes from that day.
Alysha! Long time no see! Great to see you here, and that you still have those wonderful aliases!
You're too kind Alysha!
What a wonderful post! I totally agree that we self-censor and present ourselves to meet expectations of different groups. There's some quote about "the roles we play..." that I can't quite remember. Maybe I'm thinking of Shakespeare's "all the world's a stage..."
I don't know how many personalities I have. Probably I don't want to know.
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